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Decent Performances Burned by Holy Smoke Script

January 14, 2000

(CNN) -- Way back in the 20th century -- 1994 to be precise -- before Miramax Films became a fixture at the Academy Awards ceremonies with movies including "Life is Beautiful" and "Shakespeare in Love," there was a little Miramax film called "The Piano."

Australian writer-director Jane Campion won an Oscar that year for best original screenplay for "The Piano," and Holly Hunter and Anna Paquin also took the golden boy home for best actress and supporting actress in that movie.

Needless to say, Miramax co-founder Harvey Weinstein was overjoyed. So it's no surprise that at a party following the ceremony, he green-lighted Campion's next movie right there on the spot. The result is "Holy Smoke." The moral of this story: Never make a film deal while flushed with victory and three Oscars staring you in the face. It clouds your judgment.

Kate Winslet stars in "Holy Smoke" as Ruth Barron, a young Australian woman who has joined a religious group led by your standard-issue guru while on a trip to India, where she is searching for enlightenment. Her well-meaning but clueless mother (Julie Hamilton) rushes to India with plans of luring her daughter back with a false story about her father's (Tim Robertson) failing health.

But after Mum suffers a severe panic attack -- brought on by losing her way in the steaming streets of some unnamed and overcrowded Indian city -- Ruth finds herself escorting her mother back to Sydney.

Unbeknownst to Ruth, her family has hired a hot-shot American expert in dealing with people trapped in religious cults. Harvey Keitel (who also starred in "The Piano") plays the role of P.J. Waters, the man who has come to deprogram Ruth. He arrives in Sydney sporting starched jeans, shiny cowboy boots and dark sunglasses to the strains of Neil Diamond singing, "Did you ever read about the frog who dreamed he was a king and then became one," from Diamond's hit song "I Am -- I Said."

This is a great musical setup, and basically it's all you need to know about Keitel's character. Unfortunately, the film continues.

After a family intervention, Waters proceeds to haul Ruth out to a so-called "halfway hut" in the middle of the Australian outback. There he begins what he describes as "an intense three-day session" designed to bring her reeling back to her senses. This is where Campion's film really begins to fall apart.

Day one: Ruth and P.J. have a couple of half-assed philosophical yelling matches about religion. The exchanges are really about her sexual power and his need for control. Her guru, and his teachings, are never mentioned. At this point Campion and her sister and screenwriting partner Anna jam in a strange scene in which Waters secretly meets up with Ruth's sister-in-law (Sophie Lee), who engages him in a lurid sexual encounter. Surprise, surprise, this frog who dreamed he was a king is a sleazebag.

Day two: For some reason, left unexplained, P.J. and Ruth temporarily leave the outback and return to her family's home to watch a videotape about cults, which is supposed to shake her to her very core. This important part of her deprogramming is actually a ludicrous mishmash of old news footage about Charles Manson, Jim Jones and those fun folks from the Heaven's Gate group who committed mass suicide in 1997. Her family members -- who are all painted as bumbling idiots and belong in an entirely different movie -- proceed to make the event into a party, complete with a large sheep wandering around the living room while carrying snacks and beverages on its broad back. Don't ask. Ruth then joins some friends -- with Waters in tow -- at a local nightclub!

Day three: The action begins in the middle of the night when we find a completely distraught and naked Ruth wandering around outside the halfway hut. One must assume that viewing old videos of Manson from the 1960s, combined with a night on the town, have suddenly shaken Ruth's newfound beliefs. When she is confronted by Waters she urinates down her naked thighs and falls into his arms.

Campion must have envisioned this scene as having some kind of deep emotional meaning -- otherwise you are left with an internationally known, Academy-nominated actress peeing on herself for no reason. Now what that meaning is is anybody's guess. This public release of bodily fluids apparently drives Ruth and Waters into a sexual frenzy. To borrow from Alice in "Through The Looking Glass," things then just become "curiouser and curiouser," ending with Waters wandering around the desert in a red mini-dress. Again, don't ask.

This film has a very brave and expertly crafted performance from Winslet. Unfortunately, it's totally wasted in this inane film.

Campion ("Sweetie" in 1989 and "The Portrait of a Lady" in 1996) loves offbeat heroines, and in her way she serves them well. Her visuals are also usually very arresting, and she creates great moments on film.

But she never seems to knows what to do with the male characters in her movies. Keitel comes off like a cartoon.

And her biggest problem is her narratives. This script -- to be kind -- is uneven at best and completely illogical at its worst.

As long as films as bad as "Holy Smoke" continue to be made, the whole creative process will continue to remain a deep and dark mystery. Halfway through this sloppy mess of a movie, Ruth moans, "I want to go home." You'll feel the same way. Just when you think this film can't possibly get any more scrambled or make any less sense, it does. Winslet should have taken another ride on the Titanic.

"Holy Smoke" is rated R for strong sexuality and language. 114 minutes.