Why Kate May Never Marry Sam
September 28, 2002

Kate Winslet on the cover of Closer

Yet again, Kate Winslet has laughed off rumours that she's about to get engaged to director Sam Mendes. But, exactly a year after the split from Jim Threapleton, will she ever persuade the eternal bachelor settle down?

ONE DAY LAST SEPTEMBER, Kate Winslet sat on the tatty blue sofa in her bachelor-girl pad in an unfashionable part of London's Islington, rolled a cigarette, and made a mental list of what she wanted from life.

High on the list was her divorce from Jim Threapleton. She wanted it to be finally over and done with.

She had told him their marriage was finished just a few weeks before. It had been a pretty brutal experience, with Jim crying and pleading for a reconciliation, but nothing could change her mind. "I'm divorcing Jim," she flatly announced to friends. It was that black and white. Jim was no longer the man she was in love with; their passionate romance was over.

On 4 September, the split became public when Kate appeared, red eyed, at her front gate. "This is absolutely an amicable separation," she said.

"It was a mutual decision between both of us. It is extremely sad but we are fine."

Just three months later, Kate was on the arm of Oscar-winning film director Sam Mendes - a man who has dated a string of beautiful actresses, including Calista Flockhart and Rachel Weisz.

But what made the woman who once called Jim her "glorious boy", and who vowed to spend the rest of her life with him, change her partner so swiftly - and so radically?

Weeks before their split, she even told the world how much she loved and valued him as the father to their little girl Mia. "We're very lucky," she said. But her attitude changed so quickly over a few weeks late last summer that it was as if something had snapped.

One friend remembers, "She just said over and over that Jim wasn't what she wanted anymore. That was about all the explanation I got."

Others close to the actress say that the way she spoke to Jim towards the end of their marriage "made your blood run cold" it was so dismissive.

Some thought he must have had an affair, but the truth was less dramatic - she had simply outgrown him and wanted to move on as soon as possible. In their quickie divorce papers, Kate cited Jim's "unreasonable behaviour" as a cause of their separation. Although friends have said that Jim agreed to take the blame because he wanted to be a gentleman about the whole thing.

Shattered, Jim was no doubt surprised by the speed at which Kate wanted to change her life. And just a couple of months later, she was seen spending the weekend at a hotel in Texas with Sam Mendes. A few weeks after that, on 3 December, she and Sam announced themselves as an item at the premiere of Kate's new movie Iris in New York.

Sam Mendes' appeal may have been that he was everything Jim was not. A major creative force at the hugely successful Donmar Warehouse theatre group, he also won an Oscar for his first film, American Beauty. A high point of Jim's CV was his stint as a lowly third director on Holy Smoke [actually Hideous Kinky].

Sam was a man of the world, and ten years Kate's senior. By contrast, Kate and Jim's relationship was, if not puppy love, then very much a youthful flowering of passion. Jim was only Kate's second boyfriend.

Sam also made the perfect consort tor an A-list star, spending time with the Hollywood A-list, including Steven Spielberg and Nicole Kidman. Meanwhile, Jim, a Yorkshireman, hated what he saw as the insincerity of the showbusiness circuit and preferred to spend time with his media-novice friends drinking pints in grotty pubs in London's Shepherd's Bush.

According to his grandfather Norman, Jim is, "A bit of a quiet type. I do not know whether all this theatrical and film life has gone down well with him, it is not really his thing. Kate made all the running really - she was the one who said she fell head over heels and he made her laugh. That amused us a little bit because he's a bit serious-minded, our James."

Jim was also the kind of guy who adored the bangers-and-mash informality of their wedding reception, but Kate had changed. She wasn't that kind of girl anymore.

When the divorce came through in December 2001, Kate's new life began to shape up fast. She engaged the services of one of the most powerful agents in New York - Simon Halls - and,last month, Sam bought a ;£3.3imllion weekend home for himself and Kate in the Cotswolds.

But, in spite of the appearance that Kate has made a new happy life away from Jim, rumours persist about her relationship with Sam.There are hints of rows between the two.

"Kate and Sam do argue," says a friend of the director. "Sam has shouted at Kate down the phone even when he knows lots of people can hear. It's not all plain sailing."

And while Kate and Jim used to be seen wandering hand in hand to buy groceries in North London, Kate and Sam are usually only seen together at formal occasions such as film premieres. In fact, they spend a lot of time apart. Sam is often in LA or in New York, where he has an apartment.

"He needs to hop on planes to cast plays and movies - he has that kind of career," says one of his associates. "It's not the kind of lifestyle which is compatible with settling down, and he doesn't seem to be fighting it. You know, he's happy to be pretty freewheeling."

Kate, meanwhile, spends most of her time in the UK. A friend of Sam says,"Kate has a life in London and lots of roots here. She is a very good mum, and puts Mia first. She can't go hopping on planes all the time to trail after Sam."

At last week's London premiere of Sam's movie Road To Perdition, Kate laughed off rumours that they would marry. "Get out of here," she said. "We're just happy as we are at the moment." Her parents have also stated that a wedding is not in the offing. "She hasn't even got a ring," says her mum Sally.

Sam's public declarations on Kate have been almost churlish. Asked recently about their romance, he harrumphed, "We've got no plans to marry, and no plans to work together. Kate doesn't need it and neither do I."

Sam claims he is not the marrying kind. He was attracted to the script of American Beauty because the dysfunctional families in the film had a resonance for him as the only child of a failed marriage. His parents split when he was five and he has said,"The idea of a marriage fills me with dread."

That's something that actress Jane Horrocks discovered. She had a three-year relationship with Sam, but once she decided she'd like to settle down and have children, Sam ran a mile. "I wanted babies and more of a commitment and Sam didn't," she says. "It's as simple as that."

Kate, Jim, and Mia and Jim's new girl - Claire Southern.

Meanwhile, a year after the split with Kate, Jim is prospering romantically and professionally. He and Kate have re-established such a good relationship that, last month, when she and Mia moved into a new London home that was supposedly meant to be a love nest for her and Sam, it was Jim rather than Sam who carried boxes and helped her move in.

On top of that, for the past four months Jim has been enjoying a romance with Claire Southern, 29, an attractive, grounded PR girl who he met through old university friends. Professionally, he's working on an exciting new film project with his company, Ultra Films.

"Life couldn't be better for me since everything that happened last year," says Jim. And of his new love, Claire, he says, "I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time, it just happened. And I'm so glad it did. I couldn't be happier."

Of course, Kate's relationship with Sam may work out to be the best thing that has ever happened to her. But what an awful irony it would be if, after leaving her old life behind, she finds that her new one is not quite as she had anticipated.

Source: Closer Magazine.
Scans: by our UK Correspondent - Allan