Sure, Kate Winslet is heroic on-screen (think Titanic's ballsy lover and now Iris' fierce intellectual). Guess what? We shared a glass of wine with her and discovered she's a real-life role model, too. Here's why.

By Leslie Yazel

Photograph by Walter Chin

*She chose happiness instead of waiting for it

Happiness isn't something that just—hello!—falls into actress Kate Winslet's lap. She creates it, "I refuse to be down", declares the 26-year-old, "I don't have to be in lavish environments to be comfortable. I could find excitement in a cardboard box." That's hardly necessary (she owns a cliff-top home in Cornwall, England), but Winslet's make-the-best-of-everything approach is clearly a by-product of her upbringing. Growing up in Reading, England, Winslet was one of four children in a middle-class theater household—her father, Roger, mother, Sally, and two sisters, Anna and Beth, are also actors, "Our house was full of laughing and singing" says Winslet, who found out she'd landed her first film, 1994's Heavenly Creatures, while working in a deli. (She was making a sandwich and had to go outside for an overwhelmed cry.) Still, she never forgot her roots. "I was brought up to understand that what's important is looking after the people around you," she explains.

*She's a career risk taker

Winslet has boldly played everything from a swooning Jane Austen ingenue (in 1995's Sense and Sensibility) to a smut-smuggling laundress (2000's Quills). Never afraid to look less than glamorous, the actress even peed down her naked leg in 1999's Holy Smoke (OK, it was just saline solution). But Winslet faced a new challenge with this month's drama Iris: She portrays the young novelist Iris Murdoch. (Judi Dench plays Murdoch in her later years.) Playing Murdoch, who was called "the most brilliant woman in England," was a daunting task. "Iris wasn't exactly pretty, but there was something about her soul that turned people on," says Winslet, who wore a frumpy wig and left her face nearly makeup-free for the role. "I love stripping down to brass tacks and putting myself out there."

When it came to playing Murdoch, Winslet was her own biggest critic. "Kate would get annoyed with herself if something didn't go well," says Iris director Richard Eyre. "She's very serious about the job." But she bounces back—fast. "We all make mistakes. But dwelling on them is a waste of time," Winslet says. On the Iris set, Winslet's costar Hugh Bonneville gave her the nickname "Butch" to pay her back for teasing him. "We were shooting swimming scenes in heated water," Winslet says laughing. "Hugh kept jumping out into a huge blanket -- looking pathetic, cold, and shivering. So I gave him the name 'Nancy Boy'! I'd rather be considered butch than wimpy!"

*She's proud of her non-twig figure

Winslet is not your typical wafer-thin starlet. She's a curvy 5'7" woman—and she's at peace with her physique. That body acceptance; is hard-won, given how the world has scrutinized her every weight fluctuation. Winslet was called "Blubber" in school, and she endured snipes from a 1999 Venice Film Festival commentator who noted, "Kate was looking a bit weighty." The truth is, Winslet finds weight talk "boring" these days. "I've had praise and criticism for my shape. I just say. You can criticize me, but I'm comfortable with the way I am," she explains. "It makes me proud to show a true shape on-screen. There's nothing worse than an actress doing nudity who's presenting a body that has been so worked on, it seems impossible for anyone real to be like that. There's no reason we should have insanely sculpted bodies. Nothing is perfect. It's about accepting the way you are." Winslet clearly does: She's appeared at least partially nude in five films. "It's not that I love taking my clothes off" she says, "Every time I shoot a nude scene, there's fear, panic and paranoia—I hate it. But any nudity I've done has been right for the film."

*She's newly single but still strong

In September Winslet separated from her husband, Jim Threapleton, 28, an assistant director and the father of her 16-month-old daughter, Mia. "In a marriage, you can reach a point where you realize it just isn't right anymore," Winslet says. "If there was a chance that an atmosphere of bad feeling would alter Mia's personality and day-to- day life, it was time to call it a day." But she insists the breakup was mutual—and denies reports that a third party was involved, "People want to believe there's another reason," Winslet says, "But it was surprisingly amicable. There's a sense of strength that comes from that."

That strength is helping Winslet remain optimistic about new relationships, particularly her current one, with American Beauty director Sam Mendes, 36, whom she met in July when he asked her to be in a play (she said no). But the pair didn't start dating "until long after Jim and I split up," Winslet explains, "and then things blossomed," Winslet sounds like she's on cloud nine: "That's right, I'm very happy. Oh, yes."

*She shed her baby weight healthfully

While pregnant with Mia, Winslet gained 60 pounds—easily. "I gained a heck of a lot of weight and loved it," she says. To get back to her normal weight before filming Iris, Winslet consulted a nutritionist. Her goal? To drop pounds and still be able to breastfeed six-month-old Mia in the healthiest way possible. "I don't eat heaps of junk," she says. "But just by cutting out a few things—bread, dairy, red meat—my weight shifted gradually."

*She puts friends before work

After portraying heroine Rose in the 1997 smash hit Titanic, Winslet blew off big-budget movie offers and made the smaller film Hideous Kinky. "There was enormous pressure on me to do bigger things," says Winslet, one of the youngest actresses to be twice nominated for an Oscar (first for Sense and Sensibility,then for Titanic). "But Hideous Kinky was special to me since I loved the book." That book was a gift from Stephen Tredre, whom Winslet once dated. When Tredre died of cancer while Winslet was filming Kinky, she flew to England for his funeral, missing the Titanic premiere. "I received phone calls saying, 'Don't you think Stephen would've wanted you to have your moment of glory?' at which point I'd hang up," Winslet says. "I wouldn't have missed his funeral for the world."

Winslet's priorities have earned Hollywood's respect. "Kate has the proper hierarchy of values" Quills director Philip Kaufman has said, "She has none of that movie-star stuff," Iris director Eyre notes, "It's Kate's priorities that will guarantee she remains at the top of her profession."

* She's a wash-and-go woman

Self-described as "scruffy," Winslet is no designer-dress obsesser. "Look at me now," she says. "Socks, jeans, white T-shirt. God knows what kind of bra I've got on," She peeks down the front of her shirt, cracking herself up then blurts, "I'm not even sure I've got any knickers on." Winslet won't even cop to a beauty routine. "I'm not a manicure-pedicure girl," she insists. "I don't even own a hair dryer. I can't be bothered - I'm just wash-and-go."

* She juggles working and mothertood

"I've read articles where film actresses who are mothers say, '0h, my life hasn't really changed. I'm still able to go to work, have free time and go out to dinner.' That's crap!" shouts Winslet, who watches Teletubbies cooks and prepares bottles. And don't even suggest that she doesn't change dirty diapers, "Are you kidding? I could talk about consistency, the number of times each day, etcetera!" shrieks Winslet, who worked just five weeks during Mia's first year. "I'm a full-time mother. The way I preserve my passion for acting is to not overload myself. The day I wake up so exhausted that I don't want to act, that's the day I'll stop."

Cover Confidential

Kate Winslet was photographed in Austin, Texas, by Walter Chin.

Want Kate's hair? Use a styling spray before setting with bigrollers. We like: Bumble and Bumble Does It All Styling Spray, $18. For her fresh face, pair groomed brows with a burgundy lipstick like Estée Lauder Sumptuous Lipstick in Sumptuous, $18.

Top, Calypso Christiane Celle; jeans, Levi's; bracelet Tiffany & Co.

Hair: Campbell McAuley at Artmix; makeup: Lucienne Zammit at Artmix; manicure: Dana Shuneman at Dimensions salon.

Source: Glamour Magazine (Text and Scans by dK.)